sea24

Today, I’m feeling a little empty. I know the reason as to why I’m feeling this kind of a way, but I still feel like I don’t really know the reason behind it.

If that makes any sense.

So, my best friend came back home a month ago and we went on this trip together. That was like my very first actual trip together with the person who has been with me through thick and thin. But what’s more special about this person is that from all of my friends that I have had in the past, she is the only one that has somehow stuck around with me till today. with others, I lost touch or they found new friends.

So, back to the topic. we went on this trip together and I realized how much I had missed out on things. sometimes it was overwhelming, but the constant attention that my best friend gave me to make me feel at ease and to constantly ask me if I was okay, or if anything made me uncomfortable, made me feel like I really am lucky to have found one good thing in life when I thought I had no one.

I have taken things for granted in the past, even friendships, thinking that nothing really lasts and how everybody was just in my life to simply ask for something in exchange. but very few people made me realize what selflessness actually is and how I can be the way that I am, and they will still be together with me.

I am not the type to get jealous when my friends make other new friends. In fact, I actually really like that they are happy in their lives with or without me. And I have tendency of not really showing how I truly feel. and for some odd reason she is the only one who noticed that about me. I am usually a very talkative person, like an open book, and sometimes I feel like people think that that is who I truly am.

but one time, my best friend came up to me and told me this one thing that will stick with me forever. She was going home for the exams preparation, while I had decided to stay at the boarding and she comes to me and tells me, “look, I am going to meet my parents and I won’t be here, but you need to remember to not bottle your feelings in. You have to speak it out. You have to tell me if something is hurting you. Okay?”

And here I thought that I was the most talkative person on this planet. How the hell did she know that I have a habit of bottling things up and suppressing myself.

I was too stunned to speak.

Anyways, I’ve gone too personal with this now. What I initially wanted to address was the fact that tomorrow, she is going back to another country and for some reason I feel like she is going to be too far away again. Even though, right now she is like 280 Kms away from my house, I still felt comforted knowing the fact that she was in the same country as me. But tomorrow, her going to a different country makes me feel like she is going to another planet.

So, I decided to dedicate this blog to my best friend to tell her how much of an influence she has had in my life and how much I value her existence in this life-time. And we have always liked giving each other letters, so this is my letter to her.

She stayed along with me when I didn’t even stay along with myself.

“Thank you for sticking around with me.”

Your truly,

SEA.