sea24

Certain Things start loosing its credibility and its scary aspects with time, just like the online application system. The very first time I applied for my university, I remember how overwhelmed and scared I was. My heart was beating like it was about to explode. I had this very weird taste in my mouth, as if I had not brushed my teeth in days, and my mind couldn’t stop thinking about the documents all day long, as if it was my lover.

It was simply overwhelming.

But, I’ve calmed down quiet a bit since last time. If I am ever again, feeling nervous or anxious, I simply put on some music and decrease the value of “that big thing” in my head, which makes it easier for me to view it as accomplishable.

It’s all about how much value it holds in your life. Once you decrease it’s value in your life, you’ll notice the nervousness going right out the window. I sometimes like to view it as something that I see while I’m out shopping, and I see that big thing on the racks, and I decided to just buy. and now it is mine, so why should I stress about it being mine or not. I already freaking have it.

So, this time when I applied for that online application, I found myself to be pretty chill and calm about it. I remember, how last time, I even tried meditating for days to calm my screaming heart to no avail, but I eventually got rid of that sickening feeling inside my stomach and am able to switch my moods in seconds.

Have you ever gone through something similar?

anyways, These days I am also stressing over, whether I should have coffee with milk in it or should simply stick to black coffee.

I mean, black coffee only tastes good if it’s chilled, but because I am sick currently, I can’t really have chilled coffee, so I am observing myself leaning more towards warm milk coffee, which is indeed full of sugar and calories, which makes me feel guilty after.

So, I am very conflicted, but this little problem of mine is okay for me to deal with instead of the major things in life. I feel like this coffee issue can be handled pretty well by me, and am grateful that this is the only thing in my life right now, that has been bothering me.

Instead of much more serious things that could make me question living life all together.

Just yesterday, I was talking to a friend, who said that he lacked drama in his life, and how he wished there was some drama to make his life worth living, I remembered, how, just a few months ago, I desperately prayed to god, to end all the drama in my life as it was taking a toll on my well-being, and my prayers were indeed answered. As now, the only drama in my life I have is which type of coffee I should have. So, I am pretty grateful.

And I would not wish for anything other than the life that I have currently.

In the end, everybody has their own preferences and choices. Some want drama in their life, as their life is too boring to live and some desperately wish for a normal lifestyle, as the drama almost ruins their life.

what do you think is your kind of ideal life?

Mine is a drama free one.

yours truly,

SEA